birth of girpare

seed #357

For the first time on his 3001st birthday, Bhugol Girpare, succeeded to extract milk from water and salt from sugar. Exactly 2092 years after his 1st tryst with miracle, which had suddenly materialized out of his nostrils . Though time had failed to scar him, his memory had become a bit funny, he couldn’t remember the exact quantity of gold dust he had sneezed out that day and felt vaguely unhappy about it. But what bothered him was  his failure to recreate calculacharya’s arched eyebrows with perfection.

Sadhu calculacharya, who could count the exact number of stars in a wink, was a great mystique and mathemagician. He was a devotee of the holy cow and his eyebrows intersected like a multiplication sign , perhaps multiplying energy. His tapovan full of yogis engaged in kriyas of all kinds had a prolonged state of bliss, luscious fruits graced the trees, beautiful birds chirped throughout the year, and nymphettes plucked flowers in the gardens.

Calculacharya had many disciples. His most favourite disciple erectionanda who after 250 years of a sadhana gone slightly wrong had gained powers of having a wilful erection anytime and using his semen only for general wellbeing, instead of its actual aim of gaining telekinetic powers. 

Erectionanda once came on a corpse and  brought it back to life . Once a girl was fatally afflicted by tuberculosis, with her mother lamenting by the death bed, seeing this, erection got hard and extricated his bodily fluids and cured her. Once he came on calculacharya’s daughter dugdhadamini’s face and cured her crushing migraine instantly and thus became his favourite. Dugdhadamini’s had a fondness for erection, but bolodaprosad who lusted on dugdha’s massive tits, hated calculacharyas fondness for erection and also that of dugdha’s. One day bolodha who had recently acquired powers of ventriloquy, one afternoon made bovine noises as the cattle goddess and asked calculacharya in divine voice.

 ” you want to marry your daughter off to erectionananda”

“Erectionanda mother cattle”

” do you think erection has won over kama”

“Yes mother cattle, erection is a controlled yogi…”

“I bet he will fornicate the malinis with shapely buttocks to the next  century. I bet”.

” no mother cattle, 140 years ago he had last masterbated to satisfy his urges. He had no urges ever since. Now he only gets hard for the general people.”

” OK then prove this, lock erection and those gardener women for a year in that room behind the stable “.

” but if he can then?”

“If he can then I will give you the power of creating separating milk from water. And you will become a swan. If he can’t you will have to marry your daughter to bolodaprosad. I like him.

” But Boloda …”

“No but do as I say and if you see that he had banged them, you need to punish him.

Calculacharya had immense faith and affection for his favourite disciple.So calculacharya obeyed mother cattle’s orders.He locked erection and 8 malinis, one year later when calculacharya opened the door of that room he was shocked. he found erection being sucked off by his roommates. His eyes closed with an expression of ecstacy. And an infant sucked from two of those sixteen ample tits.

Calculacharya cursed erection to become a never ending number called pi and keep running in circles and made the malinis different geometric shapes depending on the shape of their asses, ellipse, parabola, hyperbola at random selection of rage. Then he looked at the kid and left. Heart broken he married off his daughter dugdha to baloda.

Girpare was thus born out of an orgy in an ashram, and thus became an embodiment of paradox right from his birth. His nose though was big and hard like his father’s erection which was like a giant perpendicular thanks to calculacharya’s boon.