Time-PostApocalypse 44.0
Location-Kolkata
Place-Oly Pub
Looting a bank needs planning. It’s not like biting a Joe when he is sleeping,” said Felisa with a heaving sigh as she took a small sip from her glass, she was never too big on drinking but liked to be a company to Phos. He was a lot more tolerable when he would be drunk, precisely because he would cease to make sense who heard her and went blank and spoke with a jaded tone. His signature sexy buzz was missing, but today seemed different. Phos was irate, hopeless and jaded as he slowly downed from his glass. This was the most elite bar in their town. The drinks were expensive and of great quality. The bar had reopened after several weeks, and like everything else, this too had gone through a massive change in the last few days, in their staff, in their range of drinks, after all, humanity, as planned by the bloodsuckers, have been obliterated. What viral pandemics and zombie apocalypses from the debilitating forces of Zomboolal Prachanda and fake-it-till-you make it somnambulist (who were these sleepwalkers led by the cultist messiah Somu baby who had been an activist for equal rites for sleepwalkers with the zombies, he was training these sleepwalkers to behave like they were zombies) and tech wars damaging the mind space with consumerism’s most foul overload in recorded history and perhaps beyond have failed to achieve, the vampires have done with a simple resolve and finally taking action that the leech sorority, the werewolf trade organization, the bat broheims, and many many more small and big planning committees and great bodies of bloodsucker brotherhood could affect even though they did meetings every fortnight, whereas the vampires were busy tricking pretty young boys to homes and having therapeutic bloodbath to retain their youth. Yes, they were sophisticated and lazy, and nobody expected them to join the movement, the “Only blood no veins.” Humans had enough blood to last them a few thousand years, and if that was not ok, the young and the fresh were kept imprisoned. The vampires have done it, in a way only they could, taking to the road, taking them by surprise in malls, in cafes, in pubs, in offices, one fine morning, one fine afternoon, one fine doomsday, draining the blood, biting off their necks wherever they could, getting down in their dinky overcoats and doing the bloody job humans, humans had done enough damage, killing them was a big help for the bloodsuckers. But does that make things any easier for Phospora and Anophelisa?
“So you mean to say we quit, of course, why shouldn’t we, after all, quit is a part of our name, mosquito, let’s quit then” self-loathing was Phosphora’s default mode. He was unhappy even though what he had wanted for ages had finally happened without him doing anything about it. He hated humans, like he hated everything else, indiscriminately, with a lot of passion. He had hated everything he had come across. He had dreamt of such a day and had always thought this would be impossible. The day the vampire attack outbroke across the world, Phos was flying around the statue of the great vampire celluloid legend Chuttam Chamkadar and thinking this was one of those stupid internet pranks, but one after the other 16 humans were massacred in front of him, what a glorious sight; fountains of blood he would have paid more attention to understanding the scene had he not been busy getting drunk on those dead humans blood. Then it sunk in. Vampires had rebelled against humanity.
Phos, like all other mosquitoes, often wondered, were the vampires one of them, or were they one of the vampires? Was there really any brotherhood amongst the bloodsuckers that could be really possible, was a leech even concerned about a vulture, or wait, was a vulture a bloodsucker? Someone told there were 86,000 bloodsuckers out there, but for the first time since existence sprang from the womb of darkness, would they finally be given some validation? Could it happen that mosquitoes would finally get their due, their fill? Why were they not informed? Why were the mosquitoes kept in shadows and never invited to the meetings, whereas they had killed countless humans through excruciating diseases? Just because they were mosquitoes. He had heard from his friend tealmoshai, who was a Bengali, and legend has it that long back in time when he was the notorious neelmoshai, the only one to ever manage to have bitten Krishna once and found such nectar that he the first mosquito to become free of bondage and moreover live for a really long time, much more longer than the average three days of a mosquito. Tealmoshai had his information. Vampires were apparently ganging up in Kolkata for a long. Ever since Chuttam Chamkadar was unjustly removed from the film industry on account of being too old and never aging, human filmstars had been lobbying against the screen legend, that finally screwed with the egos of the vampires and vampires had huge egos and pent up anger, because after a fight they could not ease out by saying ‘you suck.’ But Phos knew that revolutions are fuelled by greed masqueraded as hurt or humiliation or unjust. The greed here was blood, the greed here was power, the greed here was to win, to be sucking away to glory and not feel bad about it, while not pretending to be a cabbage collector or an affectionate uncle, just being what they were; vampires that is; it did what the dangerous caffeine zombies failed. Caffeine zombies could never convince that they would never try and attack, some bad acting right there as Chuttam Chamkadar would point out to his zombie arch-rival screen legend of parallel cinema legend Zomitabh who had won many awards for acting alive, plus humans were good at predicting, dooms, in fact, that is what they would always do, think of handling the next crises, and thus creating more crisis, they had suspected everybody but not the vampires, some good acting right there, often pointed out by caffeine zombiels, also laziness and deep regards for Chuttam Chamkadar, there were very few left, their political guiding force Badur Bahadur was sad and wrinkled, nobody cared about him. Vampires were out of the question. Hence the humans did not expect that it would be chika cham Chattoraj, the outcast pipistrelle community, the poor man’s bat, who would tell badur bahadur to start biting his disgusting neighborhood wannabe singer Lappi Bahari, then like rage, the vampires would spring out of nowhere and completely wipe out humanity, vampires took their heros seriously, Badur Bahadur did plot it carefully and made one of his sapien director friends to spit on Chuttam during the press conference celebrating his vast oeuvre of work. That was the hit of the first domino. The plundering began. Chuttam himself was happy that his horrible films of the early years, including “Bats of Birati” depicted on the real life story of BatBimukti who was a vigilante and ade birati a crime-free state, Chuttams acting was not good, he had stuttered throughout, in fact he did that through his early days before becoming a fatherly figure of an actor, showing the right way to romance to all boy and girls across galaxies, and Chuttam was also happy to be in the news for creating this mass plunder. It has been a covert operation well executed. This covert operation had various salient goals, but the primary goal was to keep chuttam as the forever lead of romance. chuttam saw himself in no other way. And the humans had an issue with it, so to be honest, apart from the blood of young boys the vampires were concerned about Chuttam falling from grace as the poster boy of romance.
Now, after things are getting back to the new normal, the initial euphoria among the bloodsuckers is on a high. New pubs are opening with alcohol replaced with all sorts of delightful blood.
All bloodsuckers, including bats, insect bats, leeches, outcast pipistrelles, even cockroaches and flies, also the rats and rodents who were just opportunistic sycophants and would gorge anything from feces to sweat, were a big part of the celebration. The brotherhood of the bloodsuckers has taken charge of the planet. The bars have been overtaken, and the offices, too, were a mess. Some humans, especially young boys and girls, were in custody, so they could breed them whenever they needed blood, which meant more blood, forever blood. Finally, the bloodsuckers would not be trampled or slapped to death at a whim of a stupid sapien, its the day of celebration at OlyPub, yes the vampires had taken over, and now the mosquitoes have the support and the blood. Or do they? Phos knew it didn’t look as good as it did. He knew that once the veneer peeled off, reality will come out, and in that reality, they would be just mosquitoes. tealMoshi had not come for that reason to this grand shindig. “Why do you think the vampires are lying.” asked Phelisa.
“Because they think us to be of low birth, even worse than the rats or the leech, don’t you know this they had always denied us respect, it’s us who had terrorized humanity the most, all the dengue, malaria, the ebola…” ebola is not by us” interrupted Phelisa..” yea yea whatever, where were these mother lovers when we were doing that in the invading the mosquito net, fucking their deep sleep union with the Parmatma, they were combing their hair, with pomade and conducting cacophonous rock concerts in the graveyard for dead sapiens to turn in the grave. They are just pricey pompous folks” with that, he downed his glass and looked around; the waiters weren’t there. Phos was right; where were these people when it was the kind of Phos who did the hard work to breed in water tanks and sewers and god knows where to kill humans with dengue and fuck their happiness by singing unholy tunes in their ears and fuck their cozy siestas, they would not remember those days, and not give teh mosquitos their much due respect in teh hierarchy of bloodsuckers, they will continue to think them to be of low birth, what was more alarming that nobody saw what was coming. “Why can’t you be more positive than this. We had lived when the humans ruled, we survived, how bad can it go, vampires are after all our kind,” said Phelisa eyeing a waiter; these were mostly bats., somewhere leeches.
“You can take that chance, but I can’t afford to be fooled, it is more alarming that these guys are our kind, they can wipe our race, these human folks just thought us to be menacing, and used to slap randomly, these vampires can get us obliterated as species.”
“But looting blood banks is no joke, and the two of us cannot do it.” Phelisa wanted to opt out of the conversation. She, like the rest, was reveling in happy spirits. It was their victory. There was no separation. Phos was morbid and a cynic. She had thought of annulling their marriage many a time because she did not like this nature, seeing the negative in everything, that is why he worked with a small gang of blood hunters who would suck the blood of mill laborers, and got more sweat than blood, being a male mosquito he would not agree due to his patriarchy that he was incapable of blood-sucking in fact the greed of blood was also an ego trip for male mosquitoes are not suited for blood. Phelisa wanted to hop away with one of these bats. Bats had a thing for the mosquito women, especially the females. The male mosquito could barely bite; marrying a mosquito was like doing all the hard work for ears to provide for the family. Moreover, the vampires were storing high-quality blood of various high quality in blood banks, which meant the bats, as they were family, had access to fine blood and maybe more. They would get the soccer stars. And the vampires were fine people. They had even included rats, rodents in the party, and grasshoppers too, what a great gesture by the kind vampires, and who know what all species are even remotely interested in blood.
But Phos’ continued to rant. “We have sucked the blood off humans, troubled them in mosquito net like the worst torture they can even think of, given them deadly diseases, by growing fuss-lessly in their buckets. We have led to the million-dollar mosquito repellant industries. Do you find any vampire repellent in the market? No. it’s our hard work, our brotherhood of cosmosquitoes have infected the other half of the multiverse snatching away the poor man’s sleep even if the wind was blowing at 300km/h
with deadly diseases, what have these bats done, bloody psychofants, you see they got jobs in bureaucracy, parliaments even bars, where will we be.” Phos was drunk already, the cheap blood wine he was drinking was some hooch he was not expecting, the bad blood of pirates ransacked in the Mediterranean, and the worst part was they failed to get the fermentation right.
“So what do you suggest, Felisa asked Phos with an irate whisper as a bat waiter scuttled past ‘We can’t be like these ass wipes bat folks. We must rob all these fancy-ass blood banks, I hear the blood of rich burlesque dancers are available, we need to do it, we need to start to show our kith and kin that we can do it. We deserve to own the world. To rule it like we did once, be the emperor of the galaxies and the milky way. Not being cinematic, there will be blood Phelisa and there will be music without musty earlobes.”
“May I pour this madam, this is on the house, by vampire Barnie’ Phelisa and Phos were taken aback by this gesture. For a while, Phos felt like a fool, was he really wrong, but he will still loot the blood bank, doesn’t matter how the vampire royalty treats him, the jihad has to happen, The best form of human bloods was served as a drink, with tangerine sliced on the tip of their glasses, a mix of malted blood from 3 billionaires who had the money who had enough money for a diet that makes the blood exotic. Such Fridays have been rare. It was a bloody good Friday. Phos and Phelisa had the drink as they began dancing their necks to the sound of Dj Mos, the most famous mosquito DJ played electro hum on the turntables. It was one trippy playlist by Dj Mos, and suddenly the music cuts abruptly. Vampire Barnus, the cousin of iconic Barnie Vampire, got up and raised a toast and his voice,
“You must know we have given the free toast to all the bars in honor of this great vampire’s 500th birthday, as the celebration of all the blood-sucking species triumph of taking charge of the planet. Even the werewolves are having the party.
Phos was feeling drunk. That was some booze. “Well well, here is some news we have drained all the blood in the blood banks, we don’t need them. We don’t need them, we have stored the remaining blood in the blood bars. ‘We have ample of it. And we will make more blood out of it to run the economy as a balancing demand supply system, some of our blood sucking economists are working towards it”
Phos and Phelisa were too drunk to pay attention and had passed out. It was bad for them, for phos had a foolproof plan of hitting the banks with his friends the next day. They had informed his friends about the blood in the bank, but his only friend was tealmoshai, who had no friends, and he was more of a commentator than an executor and mostly late, so the three of them were about to break into the bank the next day. The bank, as you must be knowing by now is not having any blood.
Magaj INC 