Seed #96
the pimp and the beau
I overheard a conversation between a pimp and a tall man. Man alarmingly asked “why? What happened” as he shrugs his nose, after getting poked. “Don’t go to any Tai, you look very muggable. Trust us, we are less vicious” said the pimp.
“true”, the man replied.
“are you a poet? “asked the pimp
“haha! Delightful! How can you tell
bhai? “the man, ecstatic, strokes his beard in mock suspicion,” I struggle.”
“We ask that frequently. It is a wicked ice breaker” the pimp stated, puffing with pride, “but you sir definitely are one. Tall, bearded and ugly” Shouting and repeating to the passers by “Tagore! Tagore!”
“Alright, alright. Have some tea”, they sat on the bench beside the tea stall, the man said” Tagore indeed. Did you know Gitanjali was inspired by this whore called Chandramukhi. Dr Byomkesh was doing an important paper on the theme, but he was murdered in between.”
Magaj INC.
The sad demise of the world’s best sugar cane juice
It so happened that on a certain Tuesday I had to visit burra Bazar. Now as burra Bazar is a way of life, there are certain rituals time follows.
The guards at the metro will never scan your bags if you are headed to or from Burra Bazar. Thug swag such. After stepping out of the metro and before crossing the the stinking urinal of public welfare, i always buy my ton of gumnaam beedis. They are good beedis, one can expect to find them in burra bazar.
The purpose of my visit was a meeting with a client. who was always in a hurry and would ritualistically make me wait for an hour.. And it so happened, for time is bound to follow certain rituals in this mystic place. since i had an hour to kill i decided to eat through it. Putting aside my miser self, i swam through the great animation; eating this and that. I ate the most expensive chaats a maaru has ever eating and the most expensive pav bhaji a maaru would ever eat in burra bazar. The crescendo was to be the the sugar cane juice, which it was and i tell you it was more delicious than a woman.
I have been to this place every time i come to burra bazar. but today; this day; i know i had the best glass of sugarcane juice in my hands, it over whelmed me to silence and deep satisfaction. I didnt order another glass, for a maaru couldn’t be miser only of that long. Thus the world’s greatest sugarcane juice will only live, in memory any more.
Magaj INC.
Seed #12
When the sun decided one fine night not to set, certain things set in motion. Work lost the joy of sleep. And you were officially banned to ‘call it day’ Sleep lost the joy of stars. Scientists proclaimed that’s such a incident has occurred as a revenge on the poets, for their overt prejudice of the moon. poets lolled them and proclaimed” Jesus was yellow! your sunburns are result of your sins! your father was a sinner!
sins of the father do a brown men make!”
People killed the weather man because it was the final straw and also they had run out of different shades of yellow for the afternoons. people started roaming around with ice cubes in their pocket, which lead way to innovations such that refrigerator started coming with your choice of pillows.
Magaj INC.
Seed #13
“Lemon cucumber and mint” drink, sounds like a bad combination but you will be more so refreshed because it will delightfully surprise you.
Cucumber is a cheeky bastard for he is sneaky, overtly so. I say this because, living 20 years in Bengal, it took me a realisation; to distinguish him as the sole benefactor to the flavour. such is the grace of his majesty; the humility of character i tell you. it saves from Chow to roll; it so cheap yet so cool.
Magaj INC.
Seed #33
Finally I have decided to initiate the Behemoth task of describing a cabbage. It may take a few days, which had me avoiding it and for a few more obvious reasons; it was toe green and round for me to be inspired from. upon weeks of analysis and ponderings, I woke up to sudden realisation of it being so different from tomatoes; they were so red and round. But small and squishy. and most importantly tomato juice is better than cabbage juice, the reason behind why tomato looks in better health and not obese and always cheerful in taste is because they never miss a family Thanksgiving. where they cut mangoes because tomatoes don’t grow in chicken farms! another vital difference between cabbage and carrots is that they worship different Gods. The only link between carrot and tomatoes is that few of the people from each community have joined a Cult which believes all plants are one and demand fair price when they sell their farmers.
MAGAJ-BEEJ the first
Magaj INC 